UNITED TRASH

After 4 and a half years...I am once again, single.

I've had the worst 2 weeks of my life. Which is the total opposite to the amazing 3 weeks I had overseas.

After 4 and a half years my boyfriend and I have broken up. It was the most worst break up ever. I had been unhappy with the relationship for probably about 2 years but hung in there and did everything I could to make it work while he did absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. It was almost like he was my child, the way I took care of him. I lent him money which I never got back, helped him with a budget that he never kept to, washed his clothes, stuck by him through 2 court cases, drove him around when he lost his licence, made his lunch every day, put up with his gambling problem which has put me in debt, let him move into my bedroom because his lease had run out, paid his bills for him. And what did he ever to for me? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I booked this trip to America and Mexico purely for ME. I needed to do something for myself otherwise I was going to lose my mind. "leave him!" people would say but I wasn't strong enough to and I needed him to pay me back the money he borrowed. I wish I was strong enough to have left him because I knew he wouldn't break up with me - I did too much for him to give that up!

In the end, the resentment grew in me, more and more and while I was on contiki I cheated on him with a guy in my tour. I hated myself because cheating is the thing I dispise the most in the world but...and it sounds clique, it made me feel alive!! I hadn't felt like that in over 2 years. It was so good to have someone want me, to be chased, to be taken care of.

About 2 weeks after I got back, I stupidly didn't log out of my facebook and he read a private msg I had sent to a friend about the other guy. He then admitted that he had cheated on me while I was away with some random chick at a pub. I was gutted. Gutted that he had found out and gutted that he had done the same to me.

Then I got angry. I was the one who was unhappy! I did everything for him! I got nothing from him! I was the one who was used! Why did he cheat??? He had no reason to cheat! He reckons he was unhappy too. A total crock of shit if you ask me! Typical fucking guy. No matter what you do for them, there's still a chance they'll fuck you over.

Obviously the relationship is over.

The worst thing is that he is still living at my house and in the same room. It is really blurring the lines. The 1st week was horrible. Name calling (I believe 'slut' was used), being distant, not knowing how to act with each other. This 2nd week has been much more friendlier but even more confusing. We know we're not together yet still acting like we normally would (without the hello and goodbye kiss). So you can imagine what this is doing to my head and heart!

The worst thing of all is that I am STILL doing everything for him!!! I don't know why but I am. Stupid I know.

I've never been so confused in my life and never thought I'd be in this situation.

Love my Bunnies!!

Especially Issac Luke :)

1 week to go!!!

1 week till I jump on a plane and head to....

Los Angeles

San Francisco

Las Vegas

New York City

Cancun

I can't believe this trip has finally come around. I remember when the countdown was 200 days! Now it's 7 days! I'm not sure which place I'm more excited to visit....if I had to choose it'd probably be New York (I'm already in love with this city and I've never been) and Vegas (working in a casino, I can't wait to check out THE casino capital of the world!) and of course Cancun because after a contiki tour through the US I already can't wait to relax on the beach with some cocktails - the pic above is of our hotel we're staying at.

B

Matt Moran's Chocolate Mousse

Chocolate mousse has been an all time favourite dessert of mine since as long as I can remember. I bought my mum Matt Moran's cookbook for christmas and thought I'd give his chocolate mousse a go. I've never made any sort of dessert from scratch and I couldn't believe how much I enjoyed it!

Ingredients
450grams dark chocolate (no more than 55% cocoa)
1 litre thickened cream
4 egg yolks
whipped cream, to serve

Method
Melt the chocolate in a very dry bowl over boiling water - make sure you don't let the water come in contact with the chocolate. Once melted, remove from heat and set aside for about 3 minutes to cool slighty.

In another bowl, whisk the thickened cream until soft peaks form.

Whisk the egg yolks into the melted chocolate, then whisk in half of the cream until well combined. Using a large metal spoon carefully fold in the remaining cream working quickly to retain the airy texture. Pour the mousse into 8 individual bowls or cups and place in the fridge for about 3 hours or until set. You can make this a day in advance if you like.

Serve with a bowl of whipped cream.

Bad lighting but you get the gist

All in all the whole process went extremely well!!! The only thing I would do differently would be to whisk the melted chocolate and cream for a little bit longer so it's smoother.

B

You got mail!

I love getting home and finding packages waiting for me. Yesterday I received in the mail...

Parlux 3500 in ionic blue

Bought this from ry.com.au. I need a good compact hair dryer for my trip and have been wanting a Parlux ages! Used it this morning and it seriously took half the time as it normally does! Win!! Love the colour too!

Moroccan Oil 25ml

Another product I've been wanting for ages. Only got the travel size as I don't want to be lugging 100ml of this across America. I've heard so many great reviews on this on the Vogue forum and really excited to see if it'll work on my hair which needs some TLC. I also purchased this from ry.com.au - delivery only took about 4 days which was fast!

Dr Lewinns Revitanail - $19.95

I didn't buy this online but in Myer. Whilst overseas (is that all I'm ever thinking about? Yes!) I want to keep my nails in tip top condition and saw great reviews on this, once again on the Vogue forum. The directions say to apply a thin layer once a day for 4 days. Remove and repeat for treatment 3 times. Allow nails to rest for 1-2 weeks in between treatments.

After using this for only 3 days I can already feel that my nails are stronger and aren't as brittle anymore. Win again!!

Masterchef - Braised Pork Spare Ribs

I decided to cook my boyfriend and I a Masterchef inspired dinner last Friday night. I looked on the Masterchef website and well they don't call it Masterchef for nothing! Most of the recipes I found way too hard (for a amateur like me) or I didn't have the right cooking utensils.

I found Gary's Braised Pork Spare Ribs which he made in a Masterclass. We both love ribs so thought I'd give them a go. Here is what they are meant to look like:

From Masterchef website

Ingredients

1.5kg pork spare ribs, quartered
¼ cup olive oil
lime cheeks, to serve

Marinade
1 tbs brown sugar
1 tbs salt
1 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp mustard powder
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp dried oregano leaves
½ brown onion, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped

Sauce
1 cup brown sugar
250ml malt vinegar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp hot English mustard powder
2 tbs tomato sauce
2 tbs Dijon mustard
125ml bourbon
1 onion, finely chopped
1 tomato, finely chopped
2 bay leaves
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 jalapeno chilli, finely chopped
1 orange, peeled rind

Ingredients ready to go!

Method
Step 1: Preheat oven to 180°C.

Step 2: Combine rub ingredients in a large bowl. Add ribs to the bowl, using your hands, rub the mixture into the meat to coat completely. Set aside in the fridge for 2-3 hours to marinate.

Step 3: Heat a BBQ or char grill plate over high heat. Drizzle olive oil onto ribs and toss to coat. Place ribs fat-side up and cook for 3-4 minutes each side or until sealed.

Step 4: Place cooking marinade ingredients and 1 1/2 tsp of salt in a saucepan and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to a simmer and cook for about 10-15 minutes until thickened slightly.

Step 5: Transfer ribs to a large, non-stick roasting pan and pour over hot marinade. Cover with foil and cook in the oven for 1 ½ hours or until falling off the bone, turning 3-4 times throughout.

Step 6: Serve ribs with lime cheeks.

After the 1st turn

I thought I got off to a bad start because I only had half a kilo of ribs not 1.5kgs! But I was only cooking for 2 so thought it'd do.

After 3rd turn

I didn't have any limes or enough ribs to serve alone so I made up a salad and baby potatoes. The photo (way too dark!) doesn't do the ribs justice because they were really really tasty! The meat practically fell off the bone and the bone was left pretty much clean. Very proud of myself, plus my boyfriend said it was the best thing I've ever cooked - and that's saying something! :)

I'll definitely be cooking this again but with a lot more ribs.

For the Love of Kate

I love Kate Moss. Everything about her. Her effortless style, the way she goes about her life not giving a shit about what anyone says about her. Kate has graced her 30th British Vogue cover for their September issue and proves that at 36, she's still got it.

1st cover was in March 1993 when she was 19.